A Twisted Surprise
by JustGoogleIt
Summary: Twister: it's all fun and games until someone's honor is on the line.
1. A Twisted Surprise

**Disclaimer:** The following is a completely and utterly fictitious account of an imaginary situation for recreational use only. Not intended as a substitute for imagining others complexly. Please idolize responsibly.

* * *

"Phiiiiil," Dan whined, his muscles trembling from being held in the same position for so long. "Your butt is touching my butt!"

"Shut up!" Phil giggled, making no effort to change his position on the mat. "I can't help it! I almost fell over twice already."

"You could've stepped on the other yellow, y'know," Dan complained.

"Left hand blue!" Jack Howard called.

"We're no-" Phil began, almost losing his balance as he attempted to place his hand on a differently colored circle. "Whoa. We're not strangers, Dan. It's not the end of the world if our butts touch."

"Oh my god you did not just say that!" Dan groaned, but it was almost inaudible over the uproarious laughter of their spectators.

"Quick, someone gif that!" Jack exclaimed. He gave the cardboard spinner another flick. "Left foot green."

Louise giggled at them from her seat at the edge of the Twister mat.

"And you can shut up too!" Dan yelped, still facing the ground as he was unable to look up from the mat without falling over. He placed a wobbly foot on a green dot. "I swear, you got out on purpose just so you could watch us make fools of ourselves."

"You do enough of that without my help, thank you very much," she laughed back. "And if you two weren't so bloody competitive, this would've been over ages ago!"

"Oi, lovebirds!" Jack called. "Right foot red!"

Ben Cook made his way across the room and set his drink on the table beside them. "Ooh can I get in on this too? Love this game."

"Yeah whatever," Jack said. "Right hand red."

"What is with the fucking red?" Dan complained, taking one of the few remaining red circles with his right hand and nearly letting his elbow touch the ground in the process.

"No!" Louise protested, grabbing Ben's arm. "Let them finish first. They've been at it for twenty minutes already. You can't join in the middle of the game."

"Yeah, Ben," Phil gasped. "You know the rules." He moved his right hand over so that it was sharing same circle as Dan's hand.

"And so do I!" Dan chided him. "Find your own red – no sharing."

Ben grinned and sat down on the ground next to Louise. "He's right y'know – sharing's not allowed."

"Oh come on," Phil groaned, his arms shaking more by the second. "There's no way I can reach the other red! His leg's covering it!"

"You can make it, Phil!" Louise encouraged. "You just have to commit! A full commitment-"

Ben cut her off with a dramatic sigh. "Oh what is it with you women and commitment?"

Louise just shot him a look, but his grin only grew wider. She gave him a playful shove before focusing back on the game. "Just go for it, Phil. All in. Remember, you were raised in the North!"

"You don't even want to know what I'm thinking of…" Jack muttered.

In one maneuver, Phil lifted his hand from the yellow circle and let himself begin to fall forward, at the last minute sliding his right hand under Dan's hovering leg and to the vacant red dot.

Their little group of onlookers cheered at Phil's impressive move, but Dan groaned loudly, struggling to keep himself suspended over the mat.

"Very good," Ben praised. "I was sure you wouldn't get this one."

"That means so much coming from you, Ben," Phil said sarcastically, a clear strain in his voice.

Tom had joined the circle of spectators, taking a seat beside Ben. "You say that as though any other guy here could pull that off, Ben. We can't all be as flexible as Phil," he said, flashing his friend a wink that he did not see.

"Fucking hell, will someone get out already?" Jack sighed, spinning again. "Left foot green."

"Already there," Phil panted. "Ugh, I just wanna move this arm…"

Dan's face was getting progressively redder as his breathing increased in speed. It looked as though he might honestly pass out if this didn't end soon.

"How's it going down there, Dan?" Louise asked, but she clearly knew the answer already. "You look like you might explode."

"I'd tell you how I'm feeling," Dan panted, "but there are children in this house."

"She's asleep," Louise laughed.

"Well in that case, I gotta make—"

"Right hand yellow," Jack announced.

"Oh thank god!" Phil exclaimed, sliding his hand out from under Dan and finding a much more comfortable position on a yellow spot. "Do you understand how much that hurt?!"

"I have never seen a game of Twister this intense," Ben remarked, standing up. "Be right back," he said as he walked off.

Dan panted to Phil, "Gonna give-"

"You guys want a snack?" Tom interrupted, holding up a platter of double chocolate cookies.

"—up?" Dan finished.

"Never gonna do that!" Phil grunted back.

"Left foot blue," Jack said.

"Ooh let me have one of those, please," Louise said to Tom, taking a cookie. "Did you make them?"

"Oh my god, just fall down already!" Dan hissed as Phil made another successful move. "We're never gonna finish at this rate."

"No I bought 'em," Tom replied. "So tasty but so fattening. I feel like I need to run around for an hour just to burn one of them off."

Ben walked back over to the game, a fresh drink in his hand. "Oh and you brought dessert?" he exclaimed, eying the tray in Tom's hand as though deciding something. "Oh well," he said with a shrug as he took one from the tray. "You know, I was never gonna stick to that diet anyway."

"Oh god," Jack laughed, looking down at the spinner. "Phil, this might make you cry – right hand red again!"

Dan immediately snagged the more easily accessible red dot. That move only left one space for Phil—on the complete opposite end of the mat.

"Nooo!" Phil cried. "I'm never gonna make it!"

"Say goodbye!" Dan laughed shakily. Every muscle in his body was screaming for release.

"Never!" Phil gasped out. He was completely exhausted; any second, he would be dropping, and he knew it.

"I'm not gonna tell you again!" Jack exclaimed. "Put a right hand on red already or I'm just gonna lie on top of you and make you fall!"

"C'mon Phil, move already!" Ben called.

"Fine!" Phil gave in. He was just about to make the leap, when Dan collapsed to the ground in a tangle of trembling limbs. Phil followed immediately, crashing on top of his friend.

A chorus of "finally!", "hallelujah!", "yay Phil!", and "wahey!" erupted from the surrounding guys. Louise, however, frowned.

She bent down and whispered, so that only Dan could hear her, "You just let him win, didn't you?"

Dan smiled, exhausted, and whispered back, "He was just gonna hurt himself. It's not worth it – he's a pain when he's in pain."

Louise shook her head slowly and smiled. "You two are married."

* * *

**Happy April Fools everyone!**

*cough*ifyouareconfusedatalljustclickthroughtothenextchapteranditwillallbecomeclear*cough*

Best wishes!

\- Bethany


	2. Answers

**A/N:** I originally posted this fic on April 1st, but then I decided to reformat things to make the joke a bit clearer and it resulted in adding another chapter (which gave everyone following me a notification) so I'm sorry about that if you've already seen the fic!

* * *

"Phiiiiil," Dan whined, his muscles trembling from being held in the same position for so long. "Your butt is touching my butt!"

"Shut up!" Phil giggled, making no effort to change his position on the mat. "I can't help it! I almost fell over twice already."

"You could've stepped on the other yellow, y'know," Dan complained.

"Left hand blue!" Jack Howard called.

"**_WE'RE NO_**-" Phil began, almost losing his balance as he attempted to place his hand on a differently colored circle. "Whoa. We're not **_STRANGERS_**, Dan. It's not the end of the world if our butts touch."

"Oh my god you did not just say that!" Dan groaned, but it was almost inaudible over the uproarious laughter of their spectators.

"Quick, someone gif that!" Jack exclaimed. He gave the cardboard spinner another flick. "Left foot green."

Louise giggled at them from her seat at the edge of the Twister mat.

"And you can shut up too!" Dan yelped, still facing the ground as he was unable to look up from the mat without falling over. He placed a wobbly foot on a green dot. "I swear, you got out on purpose just so you could watch us make fools of ourselves."

"You do enough of that without my help, thank you very much," she laughed back. "And if you two weren't so bloody competitive, this would've been over ages ago!"

"Oi, lovebirds!" Jack called. "Right foot red!"

Ben Cook made his way across the room and set his drink on the table beside them. "Ooh can I get in on this _**TOO? LOVE**_ this game."

"Yeah whatever," Jack said. "Right hand red."

"What is with the fucking red?" Dan complained, taking one of the few remaining red circles with his right hand and nearly letting his elbow touch the ground in the process.

"No!" Louise protested, grabbing Ben's arm. "Let them finish first. They've been at it for twenty minutes already. You can't join in the middle of the game."

"Yeah, Ben," Phil gasped. "**_YOU KNOW THE RULES_**." He moved his right hand over so that it was sharing same circle as Dan's hand.

"**_AND SO DO I_**!" Dan chided him. "Find your own red – no sharing."

Ben grinned and sat down on the ground next to Louise. "He's right y'know – sharing's not allowed."

"Oh come on," Phil groaned, his arms shaking more by the second. "There's no way I can reach the other red! His leg's covering it!"

"You can make it, Phil!" Louise encouraged. "You just have to commit! **_A FULL COMMITMENT_**-"

Ben cut her off with a dramatic sigh. "Oh what **_IS_** it with you women and commitment?"

Louise just shot him a look, but his grin only grew wider. She gave him a playful shove before focusing back on the game. "Just go for it, Phil. All in. Remember, you were raised in the North!"

"You don't even want to know **_WHAT I'M THINKING OF_**…" Jack muttered.

In one maneuver, Phil lifted his hand from the yellow circle and let himself begin to fall forward, at the last minute sliding his right hand under Dan's hovering leg and to the vacant red dot.

Their little group of onlookers cheered at Phil's impressive move, but Dan groaned loudly, struggling to keep himself suspended over the mat.

"Very good," Ben praised. "I was sure _**YOU WOULDN'T GET THIS**_ one."

"That means so much coming **_FROM_** you, Ben," Phil said sarcastically, a clear strain in his voice.

Tom had joined the circle of spectators, taking a seat beside Ben. "You say that as though _**ANY OTHER GUY**_ here could pull that off, Ben. We can't all be as flexible as Phil," he said, flashing his friend a wink that he did not see.

"Fucking hell, will someone get out already?" Jack sighed, spinning again. "Left foot green."

"Already there," Phil panted. "Ugh, **_I JUST WANNA_** move this arm…"

Dan's face was getting progressively redder as his breathing increased in speed. It looked as though he might honestly pass out if this didn't end soon.

"How's it going down there, Dan?" Louise asked, but she clearly knew the answer already. "You look like you might explode."

"I'd _**TELL YOU HOW I'M FEELING**_," Dan panted, "but there are children in this house."

"She's asleep," Louise laughed.

"Well in that case, **_I GOTTA MAKE_**—"

"Right hand yellow," Jack announced.

"Oh thank god!" Phil exclaimed, sliding his hand out from under Dan and finding a much more comfortable position on a yellow spot. "Do **_YOU UNDERSTAND_** how much that hurt?!"

"I have _**NEVER**_ seen a game of Twister this intense," Ben remarked, standing up. "Be right back," he said as he walked off.

Dan panted to Phil, "_**GONNA GIVE**_-"

"_**YOU**_ guys want a snack?" Tom interrupted, holding up a platter of double chocolate cookies.

"—_**UP**_?" Dan finished.

"**_NEVER GONNA_** do that!" Phil grunted back.

"Left foot blue," Jack said.

"Ooh **_LET_** me have one of those, please," Louise said to Tom, taking a cookie. "Did _**YOU**_ make them?"

"Oh my god, just fall _**DOWN**_ already!" Dan hissed as Phil made another successful move. "We're **_NEVER GONNA_** finish at this rate."

"No I bought 'em," Tom replied. "So tasty but so fattening. I feel like I need to **_RUN AROUND_** for an hour just to burn one of them off."

Ben walked back over to the game, a fresh drink in his hand. "Oh **_AND_** you brought **_DESSERT_**?" he exclaimed, eying the tray in Tom's hand as though deciding something. "Oh well," he said with a shrug as he took one from the tray. "**_YOU_** know, I was **_NEVER GONNA_** stick to that diet anyway."

"Oh god," Jack laughed, looking down at the spinner. "Phil, this might **_MAKE YOU CRY_** – right hand red again!"

Dan immediately snagged the more easily accessible red dot. That move only left one space for Phil—on the complete opposite end of the mat.

"Nooo!" Phil cried. "I'm _**NEVER GONNA**_ make it!"

"**_SAY GOODBYE_**!" Dan laughed shakily. Every muscle in his body was screaming for release.

"**_NEVER_**!" Phil gasped out. He was completely exhausted; any second, he would be dropping, and he knew it.

"I'm not **_GONNA_** **_TELL_** you again!" Jack exclaimed. "Put **_A_** right hand on red already or I'm just gonna **_LIE_** on top of you **_AND_** make you fall!"

"C'mon Phil, move already!" Ben called.

"Fine!" Phil gave in. He was just about to make the leap, when Dan collapsed to the ground in a tangle of trembling limbs. Phil followed immediately, crashing on top of his friend.

A chorus of "finally!", "hallelujah!", "yay Phil!", and "wahey!" erupted from the surrounding guys. Louise, however, frowned.

She bent down and whispered, so that only Dan could hear her, "You just let him win, didn't you?"

Dan smiled, exhausted, and whispered back, "He was just gonna **_HURT_** himself. It's not worth it – he's a pain when he's in pain."

Louise shook her head slowly and smiled. "_**YOU**_ two are married."


End file.
